Swamp Witch Piquante and Scream Queen Bisque (Over a Bed of Rice)

Synopsis

Two horrific tales to delight Korn lovers. In "The White Trash Witches Coven", Keith Ogden accidentally meets a witch in a Super-Usav-Mart. When she invites him to join the coven, he accepts, thinking of evil sorceries and dances with the devil. The gaggle of chatty women he encounters severely disappoints, with their baby pictures, recipes, and addictions to trashy afternoon TV. Is this "coven" just a group of wannabes, or is something more sinister lurking underneath the chicken grease? In "Pavane for a Scream Queen", Jeff Vincent, freelance writer for Filmland Magazine and as-of-yet-undiscovered novelist, has landed the interview of a lifetime with cult favorite Aurora Sterling, scream queen of the 1950's classic B-movies. But when Dame Aurora cancels and those who worked with her die or go into hiding, Jeff finds himself in the middle of a mystery. What is the secret behind this gorgeous, elegant woman? Is it just Hollywood hype, or something else much older and eternal? Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. It's bad luck to sit cross-legged in a funeral home. If you find a bird egg under a rose bush, that means you gonna lose your wheelbarrow. If you drop an egg, and it's rotten, that means your husband's runnin' round behind your back. If you have a twinge in your back, that means your cow's milk gonna curdle. Always leave a peach pit in the corn crib to keep away the weevils. If a cow moo at midnight, that means the corn gonna rot in the husk. If you hit a dog on the highway, get one of his teeth and wear it around your neck to keep away the Evil Eye. If you find a nickel under the kitchen table, it means that company comin'. If the moon got a ring around it on your birthday, that mean you gonna get married that year. There once was a witch named Clarisse-- Whose rituals never would cease: "To cast a good spell, your soul's claimed in Hell, At time such as you should decease." Once in performing a rite They burned a black candle all night. Do you know what they found when that wick hit the ground? Their ceiling was no longer white. Although no ill feeling they bear, You're better off still to beware See a witch with a wand and you'll croak in a pond If you can't talk your way out of there.